Spider-man: The world's worst superhero?

Now this isn't just aimed at the third film, where good old Tobey becomes so cringe-worthy that he makes Richard Curtis look like a purveyor of serious drama.... If you remember it he was 'laddish' enough to tear up a bar by swing-dancing..... in fact, this isn't aimed at the films at all.

Its aimed at the source material, and the original comic book spider-man. Atomic spider bites shit teen who then becomes good at climbing. With only a passing knowledge of any comic books I can safely say that Spider-man is without a doubt the worst super-hero EVER.

The facts here are simple.

In the films, Spidey has a 'web' ability, whereas in the comics he does not. his primary superpower therefore is...wait for it... that he's quite a good climber. Wow, sign me up to that.

He manufactures a bloody web-substitute to make him more spider-like. Honestly, if you've got the brains to  that, why not pick something practical. Literally anything would be better here. A freeze gun.... sure, scientifically impossible, but this is a half man half spider whose genetic code re-wrote itself over night, so that ship has sailed. Why not a gun, or if travel is the issue, why not just build a fucking micro-copter or something.

Simply put, this is a guy so enamoured with his slightly better climbing skills that he's convinced that arachnids are the way to go. If he's a role model, the only lesson here is to be fully retarded.

All this has the potential to distract from the other MASSIVE flaw: Spider-man can't travel. its hard to imagine him swinging through town in Edinburgh, it'd take fucking ages to get anywhere, or in fact ANYWHERE at all in the countryside, cause he'd have to run everywhere. He doesn't even have pockets for a mobile phone, so calling a cab, or the 5-0, would be impossible. He's limited to New York, which, when put in world context, makes me more helpful as a superhero than he is. Phone-Boy, I call the police from a reasonable distance whilst not getting involve.

Should've built that micro copter mate. Much better idea.

Fucking Parker eh?