5 TV shows you should watch. Now.

I am unemployed. Fact. I watch a lot of TV. Fact. So here, for your benefit, there are 5 hidden gems of television that you have not seen, are not watching, and you definitely should watch. Trust me; these shows are solid gold, magnificent in their execution, and world class. They blow every mainstream TV I can think of out the water… and that includes all of your Family Guys, Simpsons, Top Gears, IT Crowds and the like. The only thing I can think of that comes close is The Inbetweeners, and that’s only because I too am knee deep in clunge, so I feel Jays pain.

1.       It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

The sort of life that you’re glad you don’t lead, but the sort of activities that you can only dream of doing. Four drunks own a bar, and argue constantly on every issue under the sun, from racism, homosexuality, prostitution, and how close to rape you can get before it’s okay. If you take nothing else from this, take Danny Devito’s bullet-proof way of pulling women. Simply walk up to them with a wallet filled with cash, and drop a magnum sized condom in front of them. When bending down to pick it up, make sure to display the wallet in the targets direction. Simple.

Trust me on this, this is everything How I met your Mother is scared to be, and is infinitely funnier for it.

2.       Archer

Archer is James Bond. Except he has the world’s biggest Oedipus complex, drinks more, invented the use of the turtleneck as a tactical garment, calls fat people manatees, and is so awesome he’s retarded. Oh yeah, and he’s animated.  There is nothing as funny as this on TV. Fact.

3.       Blue Mountain State

If John Belushi was still alive, this is the TV programme he’d be in. BMS is like Animal House on rabies, and all the more awesome for it. Just think, booze, drugs, American Football, and the greatest TV character of all time, Thad Castle. He may just be the ultimate lad; aggressive, camp, obsessed with winning, camp, can drink like a fish, camp, and once took on six police and won.  Abhorrent, but impossible not to love.

The quality of this show should be measured in the fact that you can watch any episode and still get hooked. Perfect viewing for late night boozers, or those nostalgic uni sports players just dreaming of the good old days.

Ps, this is who John Belushi is…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIC0T4fWQLc&feature=related

4.       Eastbound and Down

Think Ron Burgundy levels of arrogance and delusion, except trapped in a once great baseball player now living in small town America. Every word is quotable.

What a neat summary.

5.       Firefly

What’s this, a western, but set in space? Like a light hearted, more realistic, more comedic Star Wars? Never. Well, it’s true, and this happened. Cancelled, for some unheard of reason, the DVD sales of the 16 episodes funded the film Serenity, which itself is like one long episode. Written by the dude who did Buffy, it’s well worth getting into. Unlike most normal shows, it’s not limited by having a location, so it never gets repetitive, but there is a progressive plot, so start from the beginning. Or, if you can’t be arsed with that, watch Serenity instead. Seriously.

Special mentions should go to Robson Green’s Extreme Fishing, because he has the life I want, Dr Who for being world class in inventiveness without ever resorting to traditional gimmicks, and Arrested Development, which is just really, really, funny.

Sharks. Terrible Terrible Sharks.

I write this article not in defence of sharks, or even to attack them, but in the vain hope that any sort of TV controller will put a stop the mad, bad, and frankly frustrating tendency of all nature documentary film makers to produce films that 'dispel with the myth that sharks are mindless killing machines, but actually wonders of nature, refined and intelligent'.

Basil Fawlty once demanded an award for stating the bleedin' obvious, and I demand it awarded here. I cannot believe that there is a single person in the World that is still under the impression that Sharks are nasty bastards, if only because the media insists on the contrary every time they pop up.

JAWS came out in the SEVENTIES! Stop telling me how nice sharks are! I already know! National Geographic have a show on the subject once a day, BBC once a month, and channel five about once every twenty seconds. Last I saw even him off men behaving badly was in on the act. 

The only logical explanation that I can come up with is that a million new kids are born every day that need educating on sharks. If this is true of course, maybe my rant is directed at the wrong person. Perhaps an open letter to Stevey Spielberg is more appropriate. 

Dear Steven,

Congratulations on your efforts to bring about shark awareness worldwide.

I am writing to implore you to do two things for the good of humanity. Firstly, take yo head out yo arse and learn how to make a good film again. 

Secondly, please make a genre defining, summer dominating blockbuster, like jaws, expect where the villain is... contraception. Then maybe TV will spend the next 40 years telling everyone how awesome it actually is, and I will have to spend less time learning about how nice sharks are.

Kind Regards,

Henry